“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.” -Proverb

Our relationships with the people around us are among the most important aspects in our lives. That’s why we go through such an emotional (and sometimes physical) roller coaster ride when our relationship is in trouble.

The possibility of losing the one we love and the relationship we’ve invested so much time in can be utterly daunting.

Take me for example. I consider myself to be in a loving and satisfying relationship with my Clay. But from my perspective, it wasn’t always like that. After we came back from a 3 month excursion in Thailand, we were faced with the arduous task of moving to a new city during the holiday season, and at the same time I was dealing with a severe flare up of my asthma. With every breath I took, I sounded like an obese person going up the stairs with a cookie in their mouth.

To exacerbate the situation, neither of us had a good paying job that paid all our bills.

Stress is one of the biggest contributing factors to relationship problems, and at this point, stress was having a considerable effect on our relationship.This is when I began to focus on how great things used to be between us, and began to worry about our future together.

I was delusional about what a perfect relationship looked like. I knew that life consisted of ups and downs but I had a difficult time processing what it meant for my relationship to have its plateaus as well. Maintaining a deep and satisfying connection with my partner became more and more challenging because the stress of trying to make a living online affected our relationship.

After one of my many restless nights of sleep, I was hit with the sudden realization that I was creating this.

I affected the health of my relationship by doing these two things.


Clay is an author, blogger, and dating and relationship coach for Loving Boldly. He is also a nap enthusiast, coffee aficionado, and home brewer.

More Posts - Website - Twitter