[Note: In case you’re wondering, this post is a followup to this last post, which got more comments than any other blog post we’ve ever written in almost two years here.]

medium_881887677Okay, so sorry to keep you hanging from that previous blog post

Anyway, I’ve been reluctant to talk about something for a while now, but I think it’s about time we had a little heart-to-heart here…

As you may (or may not) know, this whole relationship advice thing has unfolded in a strangely beautiful way.

When I first started writing for a few little websites years ago, I never DREAMED that we would have the kind of impact that we have now.

We’ve been featured on places like Huffington Post Live (where I was actually interviewed live on air!), the Match.com blog, and tons of other place on the internet. I’ve even had writers for major magazines like Redbook asking me for advice on articles they were writing.

But more than media attention, what touches me more is helping thousands of people transform their relationships by healing the rift between them and their partner, or by helping them find the love that eluded them for so long.

In fact, just last weekend, Mika and I met up for coffee with one of our clients who we helped cope with a particularly challenging breakup.

And part of me is still surprised to think that the small insights we offer can really turn people’s lives from what seems like a no-win situation into a powerful catalyst for grown and stepping into a happier life and relationship.

It’s moments like this that make what we do 1000 times better :)

And wow! Mika and I have been humbled along the way, and we have learned so much!

So, Here’s What I Was Hinting at Last Time…

Over the years, Mika and I have been:

  • Nicely asked…
  • Strongly encouraged…
  • Begged…
  • Pleaded with…

To share our wealth of information and work intensely one-on-one with you to help you create a tailored plan that fits your unique situation to help you get the relationship you want.

For YEARS, we’ve resisted this…

You know there are the usual excuses… Not having enough time… Thinking we need more preparation… Not thinking people would really be interested in learning our advanced techniques and strategies.

And, well… I’m also a little bit of a perfectionist.

It’s kind of a weird story, but I once stayed up all night in grad school making sure the font was just right for a project…

(don’t ask…)

Anyway, the point, is that if Mika and I do this, we’re going to have to do this 110% of the way, or not at all.

After all, I know that your relationships are the most important thing in your life. The people who we share our lives with really determine the quality of the experiences we have.

And both Mika and I approach this with just as much seriousness because we know how important this part of your life is for you.

How I’m Trying to Learn from the Past

Back when Mika and I first started writing for various websites back in the day, people told me that we should start our own blog… That our ideas were good enough that we should strike out on our own.

The idea scared me a bit, but here you are, reading our blog…

And then people started telling us that they wanted us to help them truly master this whole relationship side of their life, so we made a few programs like the Passion Program, which people have told has been a complete “game changer,” saved their relationship, and revealed the “blind spots” that kept them from finding the love they want.

And the success stories we get every time we open our email inboxes really warms my heart.

It would have been small minded to not take on those new things.

And maybe NOT giving you personal one-on-one help and guidance to form a just-right-for-you plan is just as small-minded…

I’m Seriously Considering Doing This…

Despite our hesitations and perfectionism, Mika and I are seriously thinking about offering highly-customized, intensive, one-on-one help to guide you from where ever you are right now, to sharing those warm and genuine moments of joy and connection with the person you love, and who is unquestionably in love with you…

…even if things seem hopeless right now.

And these are the advanced, and extremely deep practices and techniques that have transformed our own lives in the past.

(I would have LOVED it if someone would have helped me in this way back in 2006, when I was alone and confused, my heart shattered after hanging up the phone after my ex dumped me… and I was basically forced to learn all of this and find my own path the hard way.)

If We Do This, It Will Be a Lot of Work for Us…

I’m truly excited about sharing this stuff with you and helping you, and I know this could be what some people will need to finally have the relationship they’ve always wanted…

…but I also know that my little projects can sometimes get out of hand.

So, right now I only want to do this if there is interest in it.

So, I’d like to know…

  • What do you think?
  • Should we do this?
  • Would you be interested?

Your feedback and thoughts are really the fuel that keep me going.

And I don’t even want to think about doing this unless there is enough interest.

Please Leave a Comment Below Telling Me What You Think

It would really mean a lot to me.

And I’ll do my best to respond to each and every comment.

 

35 Responses to The Part Where I Need Your Help (Plus, What I’ve Been Thinking About Doing for You…)

  1. Bill Nagel says:

    Hi Clay and Mika!:) You have both demonstrated to me how much HEART you both put into this! Mika knows more of my situation, but on top of what my counselor helps me learn(who,by the way,very much encourages me to follow your advise also), it really is good for me having you and Mika there to give me your insite. Thank you so much!
    Ps:The yammer group is so special!:)

    additional

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Bill, Thank you so much for your comments. Although, I don’t think you and I have talked personally, Mika has told me all about you, and I hope we’ve been able to help you on your journey. Please don’t hesitate to let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you out :)

    [Reply]

  2. Jess says:

    Dear Clay and Mika,
    You are the most generous break up experts I’ve ever heard of and I know it would be more work but I think it’s a great idea. For example, right now I’d give anything and do anything for someone to step by step take me through to getting positive results. It would give a lot of people happiness I’d definitely be interested

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Jess, Thanks so much for your thoughts. I know that breakups are definitely not easy to go through, and I hope Mika and I can do everything we can to help you get where you want to go. More coming soon…

    [Reply]

  3. Peter says:

    Hi Clay and Mika, I hope you had a great time for your birthday. I think that if you and Mika had the capacity to do this, why not? And as for what I think and would I be interested, I think its a good idea and yes I’m interested.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Peter, thanks for your comments. I did have a great time on my birthday. Mika and I went and had some… interesting… Japanese food at a restaurant we never had been to before (jellyfish, anyone?). Anyway, I think I probably will try to do something for people like you. Keep an eye out, there will be more next week…

    [Reply]

  4. Mary says:

    Clay & Mika, yes, I think it’s an excellent idea to work one-on-one with people. No two situations are the same. If every word and action is that important in getting an ex back, then it should be taylor-made. So many different facets come into play. There really is no one-size-fits-all route.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Mary, Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, every situation is different, and often times a one-size-fits-all approach isn’t what’s needed. I know only too well, how difficult it can be to try to find your way through all the heartbreak, the confusion, and the pain.

    [Reply]

  5. chris says:

    hi Clay and Mika I think you absolutely should do this I for one desperately need your help!!! and we truly be grateful for it…Chris

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Chris, Thank you for your comment. I hope that Mika and I can have something to help you soon. Seems like there is a lot of interest, so be on the lookout for something next week…

    [Reply]

  6. Samantha says:

    Hey y’all. I love reading your blogs. They’ve helped me grow and realize things I’ve done and want to do in the future. I think the heartache I’m going through and reading your stuff has really made me a better person. I think it would be awesome for y’all to do one on one. I would definitely come to y’all.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Samantha, Thanks for your comment. I’m really glad that our blog has helped you along the way. Are you from Texas, by the way?… When I was in grad school, 3 of my close friends were from Texas, and they were always trying to get me to say “y’all” as an inside joke :)

    [Reply]

  7. Alex Henderson says:

    Clay, I’ll keep it simple, I’d be interested.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Alex, Thanks for your comment. I think we might have an interesting announcement come next week… ;)

    [Reply]

  8. Patrick says:

    One on one support would be highly valuable as I feel my case does not fit nicely into the models I have read about so far…I have read the first three modules, and have already been practicing much of what is included…just not sure as to how to best reconnect with my ex even if I’m ready

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Patrick, Thanks for your comment. When it comes to reconnecting with your ex, you have to make sure that you are 100% emotionally ready. Otherwise desperation, fear of loss, or any other negative emotion will come through in anything you do (trust me, I know this from first-hand experience). Anyway, I think there will likely be an announcement in the next few days that might be up your alley…

    [Reply]

  9. Gerald noket says:

    I am very intersted, I can’t wait you have change
    my life. My ex finally contacted me we met up wanted to try again.but after night she blew me off won’t answer my Text and phone calls what can I do next.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Gerald, Thanks for your comment. I know how difficult it can be when your ex gives you hot and cold signals. You hardly know what to think, don’t you? Anyway, Mika and I are talking and I think we’re going to be making an announcement in the next few days that might be just right for you…

    [Reply]

  10. Stephen says:

    I am not certain if you are proposing to help those who have broken up or those who want to strengthen their current relationship. Either way, I am certain that there are plenty of folks who will be interested in a relationship coach. People need a reality check, support, someone to help them steer clear of landminds and do what is going to give them the greatest chance of a successful outcome. The two of you must be incredibly busy with what you do now. My question is, what will you do to leverage yourselves to keep the other parts of your business running smoothly?

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Stephen, We actually work with both types of people. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t realize how bad their relationship is going until they get news of a breakup. But whether you’ve broken up with the person you love, or are still in a struggling relationship, a lot of the core principles are the same. Sure, some things need to be tweaked around, but it all comes down to how you’re “being” with one another.

    As far as balancing time, don’t worry, the current people we work with always take top priority. Yes, sometimes that means staying up late and working with folks into the wee hours of the night, but for Mika and I, it is absolutely worth it. And besides, I don’t really plan on working one-on-one with EVERYONE… Just a handful of people who are a good fit :)

    [Reply]

  11. Beverly says:

    I truly would love to do this. My husband has alread filed for a divorce. He took all the money in our savings and checking. I can not afford it. My house if in forecloser. He took and sold my car. I have a hard time getting to my 8.75 hour job. If you trully wanted to help, you should make it affordable for the “average Joe”!!!!!!!

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Beverly, I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I know it must be difficult to have the person you vowed to spend your life with cut and run, leaving you stuck in a tough place. Mika and I are talking about ways that we can help out as many people as possible. Hopefully we should have some idea about how to move forward with this in a few days…

    [Reply]

  12. Robert says:

    I think it’s a great idea! While I thank you guys sincerely for your help the last 2 months, I would have liked to have gotten more one on one help. Everyone on yammer was great, but sometimes I didn’t get responses as quickly as I’d have liked. In the end, I may have contacted H too soon. I may not really have been ready, because now that I’m feeling there is no hope of getting her back, I’m feeling almost as bad as I did the day after she dumped me. If you guys can handle it though is the big question. You might get more people asking for one on one help than you can handle at one time. Just a thought.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Robert, Thanks for the comment. I know how hard it can seem when you’re living thing out in “real time.” Trust me, there were so many times that I thought things were hopeless and beyond repair with my ex in the past… and we did end up getting back together (however, that relationship didn’t work out long-term for other unrelated reasons…). I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you’ve gotten the level of support that you needed, but I want you to know that both Mika and I do seriously do our best to help you out in a timely way (while still keeping some semblance of a normal life…). Anyway, I assure you that our customers are always our top priority in anything.

    [Reply]

    Mika Replied:

    Thanks for your comment, Robert. We really do respond to every email and comment we get.

    Just like what we encourage other people to do, part of having a successful relationship (this applies to all relationship btw) is being able to create and maintain boundaries. Clay and I are able to keep our own relationship healthy and thriving by having boundaries between our work and personal life:)

    You mentioned you prematurely pulled the trigger on reaching out to your ex. I do believe that many others and myself, have expressed the idea that perhaps you weren’t ready yet (just by your comments), a clear indicator was when you felt the “need” to respond to her email by the end of the day. I understand your frustration, but that is something we directly address in Module 5 in ESP. Feel free to take this conversation to the private group. In your corner,always.– Mika

    [Reply]

  13. Kelley says:

    Hey Clay,

    I think that if you guys can handle the extra workload, then this is a great idea. ESP helped me through one of the hardest times of my life and even though I’m not quite where I’d like to be just yet, I’m on my way there. It makes me excited to think that there would be even more individualized help offered to us.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Kelley, Thanks for commenting, and I’m really glad that ESP helped you out :)

    [Reply]

  14. Danielle says:

    Hi clay and mika!
    I think this would be a wonderful move on your part. As others have mentioned, no two situations are the same and for my ex and I, there are soooo many other factors that contributed to our break up that I would be willing to share if you all did one on one responses. I think it’s a great idea

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Danielle, Thanks for the comment. Yeah, every situation is truly unique, and one of the challenges along the way is to learn how to consciously respond to the twists and turns that get thrown at you.

    [Reply]

  15. Christina says:

    Hi Clay and Mika,
    Thank you for all your fine work. I am also interested in personal coaching. My situation is that my ex has another woman but is ambivalent in his relation, himself and low self-esteem and is working on that. I don’t know how to do the best for both of us. I love him, he is worth the work, but I must also have the feeling that I would be better for him than her, that I’m struggeling with, maybe I’m not? I have learned much from you already.

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Christina, Thanks for your comment. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’m a little confused, however. Are you saying that he’s ambivalent in his relationship with the other woman? Or to you?

    [Reply]

  16. Christina says:

    Hi again,
    I just wanted to reply to your question. He is ambivalent in most in his life, and also both me and her. Can´t commit to her now but don´t know about the future. I think he is hiding his relationship when talking to me, but overplay it when she is out with him (we are all dancing). He is working on “clarify himself” in who he is and what he want in life and he don´t know how life is gonna look like when he is “done”. He is not young, divorced 10 years ago. Thank you. /Christina

    [Reply]

    Clay Replied:

    @Christina, sounds like he’s numbing himself from his emotions. Probably through posturing or “puffing himself up” so that he doesn’t appear weak. This is a common thing for guys to do, even though it cuts them off from their feelings. Our culture tends to tell men that something is wrong with them if they express their feelings.

    [Reply]

  17. JA says:

    Dear Mika & Clay,

    I guess you have found out by now that this service is exactly what many of us dealing with a break up or a troubled relation wants and needs. ;)

    What can be more perfect than one-to-one support/coaching?

    Wish you all the best with this new concept.

    Until then, thanks so much for the yammer community, videos, mails and material.

    I can understand you are hesitatig. It´ll be much work. But perfectionism… Don´t let that stay in your way. That´s a part of what you are teachig us and what we are teachig each other via the community, isn´t it (well, for me it is)?! We are humans.

    For me it should feel good to get one-to-one coaching , even if it´s the first “test/try” you do with this.

    [Reply]

    Mika Replied:

    Hey JA,

    Clay & I appreciate your kind words, support and feedback. Running our relationship business is super labor intensive but it’s sooooo worth it. We had our first round of one-to-one coaching over the summer and we have to say it was a wonderful and life-changing experience–for us and the people we worked with. Thanks again for your encouragement, it really helps fuel the work we do, even if we often burn the midnight candle writing emails, working with the private community, blog and marketing our work, phew! OH and we couldn’t have done it without Rashmi & Francis’ help too! Major credz to them. xx!

    [Reply]

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