I have a dear friend who recently became engaged.
He was often thrown into the whirlwind of his fiancee’s family events that happened more often than he would have liked. He was unaccustomed to his fiancee’s family dynamic due to the difference in his own upbringing.
This particular issue has caused a lot of strain in their relationship and in the past, they have actually broken up over this.
The root of the issue has to do with more about the difference in their expectations, their childhood experiences and creating personal boundaries. Perhaps you’ve struggled with this in your relationship as well.
All of our experiences are a result of certain expectations.
You work extra extra long hours at work, you expect to get a bigger paycheck. You dedicate yourself to working out and eating healthy, you expect to see certain results in your physical appearance. You refill the toilet paper roll when it’s empty and you expect others to do the same. You expect to do ABC in your relationship and you expect XYZ to happen, right?
But what happens when our expectations aren’t met? Just like with my friend mentioned earlier, his expectations of family togetherness was shockingly different from his fiancee’s own expectations that it’s always been sore spot in their relationship.
Our childhood experiences affect a lot of the choices we make today.
Most of our expectations differ from one another because we had different experiences growing up. Usually these differences are what causes many problems in a relationship when it’s not met with acceptance and compassion.
Here are a few ways how unrealistic expectations in relationships causes unnecessary pain and drama.