I consider myself really childish sometimes.
Not childish in a sense that I shit my pants or throw myself to the ground if I don’t get my way.
(Only Clay begs to differ since I am known to have thrown a few “food temper tantrums” in my day).
I ask a lot of questions. I have the tendency to always want to KNOW… to be sure and have all the answers.
Just like a reader who recently asked me a question that I used to ask myself relentlessly.
“How do I know that he REALLY loves me?”
I’ve asked Clay this questions in various ways.
“Will you still love me when I’m old and wrinkly?”
“Will you still want to have sex with me (permitting you’re on top) even if I gain 50 pounds?’
“Will you still love me no matter how attractive your lady friend is?”
His answers have always been accompanied with the rolling of the eyes and an exasperated “Yes I do, you fart nugget!”
I know a lot of people are plagued by limiting questions their Dirty Harriet asks of them, like…“Am I enough?”
Am I good enough for you to stay?
Am I smart enough for someone as intelligent as yourself?
Am I beautiful enough for you to want me?
Even the most confident person the world would be lying if they said they’ve never doubted themselves before.
When people cling to the notion of certainty…they cling to an illusion.
I mean, how do you really know:
- That you won’t wake up to an F5 category tornado?
- The world is going to end on December 21st?
- Someone isn’t breaking into your home at this precise moment?
For all I really know… Clay could be chatting with girls online about the size of his…umm his car.
So, back to that question of “How do you know when someone loves you?”
You never will know for sure.
You can never be 100% certain of anyone’s love.
I will never know for a fact that he really loves me as much as my 100% certainty of me peeing my pants if I am tickled for a long period of time.
Unless this person is you, there is no telling on what someone really thinks or feels.
All you can do is TRUST and tell your inner critic to shut up.
To help you trust in their love…know that no matter what happens in your relationship, YOU WILL BE OKAY.
You will rise above your weaknesses, your perceived flaws and the internal BS that prevents you from moving forward with your life.