Clay and I want to help you EMPOWER yourself to change your love life. Whether your relationship is hanging on by a single thread or you’re in a bad situation you can’t get out of…we want to create a safe space for you to better cope with the bad moments in your love life.
One of our readers wrote in and asked us a question that I think a lot of people can relate to.
(By the way: If haven’t written back to your email, don’t take it personally, sometimes looking at my inbox can be overwhelming. But I pinky promise I’ll write back.)
Our reader wrote in:
I want to have a loving relationship with myself and my partner and not always feel like everything external, outside of myself has to make me happy. I know that this does not work but I really want to experience internal love and joy with myself but don’t know how to get there.
She knows what major obstacle is but she just doesn’t know how to LOVE herself enough to empower change within her relationship.
If you’re in a dark place in your relationship, here are few things that will help you jump start self-love so that you can improve your relationship.
1. Your Relationship Lives and Dies By What You Choose to Do NOW
Think about. What happened in the past does not have anything to do with where your relationship is going NOW. Unless you have a big shiny time machine you’re holding out on me, there’s nothing you can do to change the past.
Forget about the past.
Forget about the future.
Just focus on right now.
You’ll feel negative emotions like resentment, bitterness, and sadness whenever you’re stuck in the past.
You can’t undo what your partner said or didn’t say.
You can’t undo the pain of a shattered broken heart from your previous relationship.
You can’t undo the huge argument you had with your partner last night.
Might as well move forward, right?
You also feel anxiety, jealousy and fear when you worry about the future.
What if my partner will eventually realize it’s not me they want?
What if this relationship will end up like my last one?
What if I’m not good enough to make this work?
(A side note about jealousy: Your fears will fuel your jealousy but being out of the present moment will only fan the flames of your fears.)
You’re creating suffering and pain over something that did NOT HAPPEN.