Hey you sexy stunning lady! (insert cat call here)
I have to admit I’m a personal growth die hard junkie. I looove feeling empowered to create the life that I want. Occasionally, when I do get a free moment to do nothing with my time (got to love those days), I read other people’s blogs.
Blogs that revel in inspirational creativity, authenticity, passion and liberation is more than a feel good read.
These self-development blogs stimulates your mind and stirs your soul…almost as refreshing as a pint of beer on a warm summery day (I have no shame of my relationship with beer–I do live in Portland, Oregon after all).
However, striving for personal growth doesn’t mean that life is going to be easy for you. Yes, I ‘m doing better at rolling with the punches but it doesn’t give you a lifetime membership to the joy-luck club. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I used to think that aspiring to be the best me that I can be–meant that I was rock-solid-ready for whatever life threw at me.
This is when my faith in love (and in myself) faltered…
A few months ago, external circumstances turned my world upside down and I was left an emotional wreck. My man did his best to adapt to our new situation (and did a fantastic job) while I struggled to keep my head above water. I was practically drowning in my own emotions. This is when our relationship suffered.
Life is breathtakingly beautiful … as well as bitter and bleak.
Stress created these toxic emotions inside of me. My confidence and self-esteem went down and I looked to my significant other for happiness.
Insecurity in relationships really suck…
Has this ever happened to you? When life gives you giant, rotten, and mutated lemons, you crave for attention and affection from your husband or boyfriend. When this happens, you need him. Yes, I never thought I’ve ever become that kind of woman, but I morphed into a needy, desperate, unattractive, and insecure woman.
When life gets hard and you can barely hold yourself together, you begin to look outside of yourself for happiness.
I had a wake up call and was told by my partner (kudos to him for being honest) that I’ve become needy which made me less attractive. That’s why he had a such a hard time giving me what I wanted–extra attention and affection.
When someone expects you to do something or be someone… you can’t help but want to go in the other direction. I really couldn’t blame him.
I demanded for love and instead of attracting it, I was pushing it further away from me.