Hey there, Clay here!

Anyway, thanks for all your comments and everything last week with the post on your inner critic.

Mika and I have been chasing our tails this past week putting together a presentation for folks going through breakups.

Anyway, we did a live presentation last night and we were really blown away by the results (in a really good way)!

But I know that a lot of people that read this blog are going through breakups or their partner left them and I just really want to have a conversation with you today.

You see, this is something that I’ve dealt with before in the past.

I just turned 30, and it really has me looking back on my 20’s and reflecting on my life.

The very first time I went through a breakup was when I was 21. I didn’t know that anything could hurt that much!

I was going through college at the time and it was nearly impossible to focus on school. My thoughts just kept going back to her…

And let me tell you, I did all that stuff you’re not supposed to do. I begged, I pleaded, heck! I even l called her a bunch of times.

You see, I knew that this kind of thing wasn’t really helping my chances…

But I just wanted to know why!

Why is it that this woman who used to love me so much… who wanted to share her life with me… who had a vision of our future together…

Why had she suddenly turned away from me and become so indifferent?

Why was it so easy to get a hug and share the most deepest and intimate things with her just a few short days ago, but now I couldn’t even get her to pick up the phone?

I wanted to know how I messed up. And I wanted to know how to fix it.

Thoughts like this haunted me for the next several weeks as I really struggled to finish up the school year without completely flunking (fortunately, I did pretty good in my classes before the breakup, so it all averaged out to be… well… average).

And this was just the first of three breakups that I went through with this same woman (!)

But if you can relate to this situation, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I know it may seem like the person your ex dumped you for is your enemy. Maybe it even seems like your ex is your “enemy” in a sense too (on some level, it feels like you want to get back together, but they just want to strike you down and reject you!).


Clay is an author, blogger, and dating and relationship coach for Loving Boldly. He is also a nap enthusiast, coffee aficionado, and home brewer.

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