[Note: In case you’re wondering, this is a follow up to this post on emotionally unavailable men]

I was an emotionally unavailable man.

I don’t consider my life to have truly began until I was 23.

Before then, I lived my life completely numb. There are a lot of childhood experiences that are responsible for that, but that (and the story of how I “woke up”) can wait for another day.

I’m telling you all this as a follow up to this post from last time.

I Was the Ghost in Our Relationship

Through some twist of fate, I somehow ended up in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. We had a seven-year relationship that had a lot of ups and downs.

Through the whole time we were together, I don’t feel like I was emotionally there for her most of the time. I can only now see that now that I’m not numb anymore.

I didn’t know how to be there.

Emotions were a strange and mysterious thing to me.

I didn’t understand them. I didn’t know how to respond to other people’s emotions–especially her’s.


Clay is an author, blogger, and dating and relationship coach for Loving Boldly. He is also a nap enthusiast, coffee aficionado, and home brewer.

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