Hey there, this is Clay.

Today Mika and I are sharing some advice on how to deal with insecurity in relationships.

Maybe the following scenario sounds a little familiar:

There you are with your guy, walking down the street hand-in-hand.

Then, in the distance, you see a woman walking in the opposite direction. You look her up and down and you can’t help but feel intimidated. She’s so much better looking than you (at least that’s what you tell yourself). Thin in all the places you’re not. Bigger in all the right places and smaller in all the right places.

You look up to your guy to get a little reassurance…

But he’s not looking at you.

He’s checking her out!

That’s a problem that one reader is having with her fiance:

(PS: Yeah, I know the production quality on these videos is… well… less than pro, but Mika and I are still pretty new to all this.)

First of all, what I have to say (as a man myself), is that you really can’t get a guy to completely stop checking out other women (I doubt even electro-shock therapy could accomplish that!). It’s just a guy thing.

(I guess it’s a girl thing too… Two of my close friends in grad school were women and they were always drooling over any blond-haired, blue-eyed beef cake–so ladies, you’re not off the hook here either!)

But, it’s 100% on him to give you the courtesy of not doing it while he’s with you.


Clay is an author, blogger, and dating and relationship coach for Loving Boldly. He is also a nap enthusiast, coffee aficionado, and home brewer.

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