When you’re going through a breakup and you want to patch things up with your ex, it’s important to understand your ex’s emotional world.
You’ve probably already discovered that apologizing or promising that things will be different doesn’t really work.
The reason why is because there are some emotions lurking beneath the surface that need to be addressed first.
That’s what we’ll be talking about in this podcast episode…
Additionally we cover things such as:
- Why your ex walls you out and gives you the cold shoulder
- What makes your ex only give you simple one-word answers and how to deepen the conversation
- Why your ex might give you mixed messages and hot and cold behavior
- Why it’s actually a good sign if your ex flat out tells you to date other people or that you’re “too good” for them
- When to have “the talk” about getting back together.
References in This Podcast:
- The 5 Stages to Get Your Ex Back
- Clay’s Exclusive Relationship-Saving Newsletter
Getting your ex back can be a difficult and complex topic in and of itself. In case you’re wondering this is stuff that we cover in extreme depth inside the our course the Ex Solution Program.
A lot of women want to know what men want.
It’s normal to wonder about things like this, especially if you want to have a great relationship, but you’re just not quite there yet.
However, things don’t just go in one direction.
Men also want to have great relationships with women (contrary to popular belief…).
What is it that men think women want? What is it they think that they need to have, be, and do in order to win the love of wonderful women like you?
This subject is a little bit close to me. After all, as a man, I used to be in the whole “dating game” before I met Mika. I know all the insecurities and weird hang ups that I’m about to share with you too well.
Plus, I know, from working with male clients, that a lot of my own concerns and worries are extremely common for men.
Here are a few things that men THINK you want in them.
I shot a quick video for you explaining why men pull away, what it means, and what you can do about it.
Here’s the video.
So, in this video, I explain the core driver behind male motivation (hint: No, it is not sex).
I also explain that the core reason why men pull away emotionally is because of this core male motivation.
In the past, we’ve talked about how you will generally have better connections and relationship dynamics when you let the man take the lead.
However, I also have to say that as a man, it can also feel very nice when a woman puts for effort into the relationship as well.
There’s a common misconception that masculine energy (aka, most men) are active and feminine energy (aka, most women) are passive.
Therefore if you want to be an attractive feminine woman, you just need to be passive.
However, that is NOT true.
Should you ask a man out?
Or should you wait for him to make the first move?
It’s no surprise that woman like men who take initiative, set the tone, and take the lead.
But what happens when you like him, and he just isn’t stepping up to the plate?
Well, I can tell you from first hand experience, that this is a bit of a common problem with men in our day and age. Many of them just are not accustomed to taking initiative with women.
There are a lot of reasons for this ranging from societal passiveness in general to men trying to let women be more equal due to exposure to feminist ideas. Now isn’t the time to really discuss all that heavy stuff.
This is only a relationship blog after all…
So should you ask him out or not?
Dating can be difficult.
There’s almost nothing else in the world that can trigger as much anxiety as going up to someone you recently met, saying “here I am, the good… the bad… all of it… right here”, and waiting to see if they’re going to accept you.
Dating involves opening yourself up to criticism, judgement, and rejection.
And that can be scary for a lot of women (and men too!).
Just that alone can cause us to turn the spotlight of our attention onto ourself.
- “Am I witty and funny enough?”
- “Am I being boring?”
- “Am I too needy?”
- “Does he like me?
- “I just hope I’m not blowing it.”
All of these are focused on YOU.
Unfortunately, that’s not going to take you too far.
Let’s cut to the chase.
Energy is important when it comes to dating and relationships.
I’m going to take it as a given that you are interested in being attractive to a masculine man. You know, the kind of guy who knows what he wants, sets the tone, and takes the lead.
(It’s totally fine if that’s not your thing, but for most women, that is what they do want.)
And you know what kind of energy those types of men are attracted to?