Let’s cut to the chase.

Energy is important when it comes to dating and relationships.

I’m going to take it as a given that you are interested in being attractive to a masculine man. You know, the kind of guy who knows what he wants, sets the tone, and takes the lead.

(It’s totally fine if that’s not your thing, but for most women, that is what they do want.)

And you know what kind of energy those types of men are attracted to?

Feminine energy.

If you have a difficult time with attracting masculine men, it may be because your energy is off.

For example, I’ve often heard that women who are successful in their career are frustrated that men are intimidated by their success.

Is it true that men are turned off by successful women?

I don’t believe so.

I think that they are simply turned off by the energy that many successful women project.

In order to be successful in a lot of career fields these days, it’s helpful to have a certain “take charge” type of energy to you.

You know… masculine energy.

In the corporate world there isn’t much room for being expressive and being in touch with your feelings.

And many successful career women get stuck in that “masculine” energy mode. They just can’t turn it off and they carry it with them into their personal life.

And that’s what many men find unattractive.

Sure, there might be some men out there who are intimidated by a successful woman. But they’re mostly insecure in themselves, and likely not the kind of guy you’re interested in anyway.

I’m not talking about those types of guys.

I’m talking about the men who ARE secure in themselves, but how just get repelled by women who carry that masculine energy with them into their personal life.

In order to improve your dating and love life, it can help to learn how to switch off that masculine energy when you’re off the clock.

That’s great that you know what you want, you’re direct, you’re smart, and you’re a high achiever…

…But if those traits are getting in the way of a great man feeling like man around you, then he’s probably not going to stick around for very long.

After all, a masculine man doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a masculine woman.

He can get his masculine energy fix from his pals or from his job.

From a girlfriend though, he wants something different.

He wants feminine energy.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you should become needy, insecure, or subservient in order to have a successful relationship.

Those are all reflections of unhealthy feminine energy (just like being controlling or domineering are reflections of unhealthy masculine energy).

Instead, realize that a masculine man wants to take the lead. In fact, you probably want him to take the lead too.

But that’s going to be hard for him to do if you’re doing the same as well.

He’ll end up feeling that he has to compete with you, and that’s likely not what he wants out of a romantic relationship.

You’ll have a much better time (and so will he), if you can switch off those masculine traits that you maybe need for your career, and embrace healthy feminine energy when it comes to dating.

That involves letting him take the lead, having fun, and enjoying the ride.


Clay is an author, blogger, and dating and relationship coach for Loving Boldly. He is also a nap enthusiast, coffee aficionado, and home brewer.

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